Hey Ken, It sounds like the anniversary date of your retirement brought some grief and loss to your awareness. Think about all those years you went to work at the railroad - it was an integral part of your life, then in one day it was no longer part of your routine. You recall the great things about your career and the tragic things as your mind works out how to deal with this transitional season and permanent change. It is the same with the loss of your sister. Many people who retire go through the grief and loss process as they deal with embracing their "new" life. Forgive me if I sound analytical with you... I'm a therapist by profession.
It would be far more difficult for you if you weren't acknowledging the things you are writing about. The fact that you are writing about your struggle, losses and uncertainty is very healing. Keep on writing and working through your grief and loss.
I've been writing about walking the Camino de Santiago. It was such a long walk. One of the most significant lessons I learned from that journey was NOT that miles gets walked one step at a time -- sometimes a mile gets walked one inch at a time! Keep on keeping on and you'll soon find yourself in a better position.
Thanks Lois. I saw the Camino de Santiago post. I’m in a funk, trying to shake it, like a bad flu. But, yeah, that one step at a time is a great thought to remember.
Like C.J. said, you need a big hug. I am very big on nostalgia too and do go through those days of missing people. It's okay. We take them along with us in life. I had a melancholy week too. Losing people makes you look back. Losing your sister must have been so hard. My mum is so sad she lost her brother and wants to talk it out (repeats a lot these days). My brother is sad and is now losing his best friend to cancer. Life has it's moments where we just feel this way and then we move on as you said. It's good to write it out. I miss my work too. The pandemic messed a lot of things up. I miss what felt like the good old days, so I get it. These last five years have been exhausting and also there's been blessings - like being here. Take good care Ken. ox
Oh man, if ever there was a man who needed a hug, you do, my friend. I'm sending a great big virtual one your way --you know, I write a lot about hugs in my posts. Daddy was a huge proponent of "A hug will fix any hurt a BandAid won't cover up." But remember, you are only 50% of a hug. You have to choose someone to be the other 50% for the hug to work ...
I'm so sorry you're feeling melancholy, Ken. I understand though. There are times when I can't get out of my own way and no matter how many showers I take, I can't wash the blues off. It's like indelible ink and it has to wear off on its own --and it will, I promise. It just takes time.
Be kind to yourself, Ken. Stick your face in a pillow and sob, or yell, or both. That helps so you don't let the blues get overly pressurized --otherwise, it will bring a fart of such super magnaminous proportions that'll wake your spouse, your dog, cat, a gerbil, even neighbors ...
I often think of the scene in the movie Parenthood. It’s when all the craziness of being a dad hits Steve Martin and grandma tells him a story, essentially giving him a lecture without it being so. It’s all about life being a roller coaster - ups and downs, thrills and spills. The reality sinks in for him at the school play.
That sums it up. It’s the roller coaster of life. Good and bad, highs and lows, thrills and spills. Every one has its space in time. Sometimes it’s just how and what you make of it.
You're bearing a lot right now, brother, and I feel for you. Sometimes - and I KNOW it isn't easy - you gotta try to let go of what's weighing on you. To just shift your focus to the moment before you - breathe deeply, and feeling the burdens being released with every exhale... in only for a moment or two.
Also, something to bear in mind? We are dealing with the shift to DST, which can wreck havoc on our physical and emotional health. I haven't had a good night's sleep in over a week, and it is really starting to mess with me as well. It's why those little moments of just 'breathing' are critical, and really seem to help me out.
Anyhow, just some thoughts if you start to feel that weight again - sending positive vibes your way...
Hey Ken, hope tomorrow brings better energy. I get it, though. As I read the beginning of your post, I had the word “nostalgic” in my head, and then you used it. It’s good to be nostalgic once in a while, even if bittersweet. Thanks for being here and being one of my positive supporters. 👍 (ps: watch out for storms!)
Hey man. Hang in there. I’d say tough times makes us stronger. But nobody wants to hear that crap. Tough times are tough. But thank you for all support you’ve give me over the last months. It means a lot.
Hey Ken, It sounds like the anniversary date of your retirement brought some grief and loss to your awareness. Think about all those years you went to work at the railroad - it was an integral part of your life, then in one day it was no longer part of your routine. You recall the great things about your career and the tragic things as your mind works out how to deal with this transitional season and permanent change. It is the same with the loss of your sister. Many people who retire go through the grief and loss process as they deal with embracing their "new" life. Forgive me if I sound analytical with you... I'm a therapist by profession.
It would be far more difficult for you if you weren't acknowledging the things you are writing about. The fact that you are writing about your struggle, losses and uncertainty is very healing. Keep on writing and working through your grief and loss.
I've been writing about walking the Camino de Santiago. It was such a long walk. One of the most significant lessons I learned from that journey was NOT that miles gets walked one step at a time -- sometimes a mile gets walked one inch at a time! Keep on keeping on and you'll soon find yourself in a better position.
Thanks Lois. I saw the Camino de Santiago post. I’m in a funk, trying to shake it, like a bad flu. But, yeah, that one step at a time is a great thought to remember.
Thanks 😊 Have a great weekend
Like C.J. said, you need a big hug. I am very big on nostalgia too and do go through those days of missing people. It's okay. We take them along with us in life. I had a melancholy week too. Losing people makes you look back. Losing your sister must have been so hard. My mum is so sad she lost her brother and wants to talk it out (repeats a lot these days). My brother is sad and is now losing his best friend to cancer. Life has it's moments where we just feel this way and then we move on as you said. It's good to write it out. I miss my work too. The pandemic messed a lot of things up. I miss what felt like the good old days, so I get it. These last five years have been exhausting and also there's been blessings - like being here. Take good care Ken. ox
Thanks Deborah. You hang in too 😊. You’re the best !
Thank you Ken 🙏🏻
So glad you are here and writing it out..
Oh man, if ever there was a man who needed a hug, you do, my friend. I'm sending a great big virtual one your way --you know, I write a lot about hugs in my posts. Daddy was a huge proponent of "A hug will fix any hurt a BandAid won't cover up." But remember, you are only 50% of a hug. You have to choose someone to be the other 50% for the hug to work ...
I'm so sorry you're feeling melancholy, Ken. I understand though. There are times when I can't get out of my own way and no matter how many showers I take, I can't wash the blues off. It's like indelible ink and it has to wear off on its own --and it will, I promise. It just takes time.
Be kind to yourself, Ken. Stick your face in a pillow and sob, or yell, or both. That helps so you don't let the blues get overly pressurized --otherwise, it will bring a fart of such super magnaminous proportions that'll wake your spouse, your dog, cat, a gerbil, even neighbors ...
The bad times never last forever, Ken.
Love & Hugs
I often think of the scene in the movie Parenthood. It’s when all the craziness of being a dad hits Steve Martin and grandma tells him a story, essentially giving him a lecture without it being so. It’s all about life being a roller coaster - ups and downs, thrills and spills. The reality sinks in for him at the school play.
That sums it up. It’s the roller coaster of life. Good and bad, highs and lows, thrills and spills. Every one has its space in time. Sometimes it’s just how and what you make of it.
Thanks C.J.
https://youtu.be/VW2ebN3PWT0?si=PHy4SnpJOJEPiA6Y
You’re welcome, Ken. You’re in my thoughts.
We all have similar problems and we deal with them in our own way. I've come to believe in two reassuring thoughts to get me past my rough spots:
1. This, too, shall pass.
2. There is always something to be thankful for.
You're a goid man, Ken. You'll find your way.
Thanks Dave. I focus on #2 a lot !
You're bearing a lot right now, brother, and I feel for you. Sometimes - and I KNOW it isn't easy - you gotta try to let go of what's weighing on you. To just shift your focus to the moment before you - breathe deeply, and feeling the burdens being released with every exhale... in only for a moment or two.
Also, something to bear in mind? We are dealing with the shift to DST, which can wreck havoc on our physical and emotional health. I haven't had a good night's sleep in over a week, and it is really starting to mess with me as well. It's why those little moments of just 'breathing' are critical, and really seem to help me out.
Anyhow, just some thoughts if you start to feel that weight again - sending positive vibes your way...
Thanks, brother. I’ll take it all into account. Especially the breathing.
Hey Ken, hope tomorrow brings better energy. I get it, though. As I read the beginning of your post, I had the word “nostalgic” in my head, and then you used it. It’s good to be nostalgic once in a while, even if bittersweet. Thanks for being here and being one of my positive supporters. 👍 (ps: watch out for storms!)
Thanks, bud !
Yeah, it’s pouring now with thunder lightning and, yep you guessed it, snow overnight. Gotta love that Midwest weather !
I think it's heading across the Lake right now. :)
Let's have a great one tomorrow!
Hey man. Hang in there. I’d say tough times makes us stronger. But nobody wants to hear that crap. Tough times are tough. But thank you for all support you’ve give me over the last months. It means a lot.
Thank you, I appreciate it.